I really have always had body image issues. It's horrible to think but I have been on a "diet" since I was around 8 years old, that was the first time I felt fat. It makes me sad when I look at pictures of myself around that age and see that I was just a normal sized girl.
Everyone seems to blame it on ballet, I took it from 5 years old until I was 13. I went to a very intense school and we were always told to suck in our fat tummies and "if you aren't careful with lunch you won't fit into your recital costume".
At 11 years old I was diagnosed with anorexia. I would tell my parents I was buying lunch at school and save my money instead and just sit there. For breakfast I would tell my mom that I would eat it on the way to the bus but instead I'd either give it to a friend or throw it away. My mom was always a bit weird with food too so she would eat before I got home for dinner, so either I'd say I had a big lunch or I'd pretend to eat and when she wasn't looking I'd dump it in the trash.
I saw a councilor, hated it, decided to eat to make my parents happy. I had relapses at 15 and the most severe at 20 where at 5'2 I weighed 80 pounds.
I made a full recovery by 22, got married, never talked about it again and then I turned 30. I became obsessed with my weight, what foods I couldn't eat and strange reasons for it, and worked out like crazy.
I've never had breasts, really I haven't at all. At my consult in December of 2014 I was a 32AA wearing bras from the children's department of Target! I was wearing a size 0 in clothes and even though I wasn't overweight I was not a good looking weight for my size. I had people at work, who have known me for 10 years, telling me I looked too thin and sick.
I was, mentally I was that 11 year old girl again and I had the same body. I read some research that women that get breast implants boost their confidence and are able to feel more comfortable at an appropriate weight. I didn't like how I looked with the few extra pounds without a chest to balance it out.
So I did it, January of 2015 I got saline breast implants. Now at over a year post opt I am a 32D and incredibly happy with how I look, even with the 10 pounds I gained after surgery.
The surgery was not easy though. I took 11 days off of work. The pain was INTENSE. Since I worked out so much my chest muscles were super tight. People never believe me when I say the recovery and pain was worse than both of my c-sections. But the end result was worth it.
Here I am before:
And here are two more current pictures of me:
I will be happy to answer any questions you may have :)