Wednesday, April 26, 2017

What To Do When Dad Sucks

I'm kind of over "holding back" on things.

The girls' dad, the one who used to seem like such a great dad because on my Facebook there were pictures of him participating in life with us...well, those were all fake.  He posed for pictures and that was about it.  And that was in between sleeping all weekend and drinking 6-7 beers in order to function.

And I'm done.  He sucks.

We currently have not heard from him since last Monday, and that was only because I texted to be sure the girls made it to school.  His schedule with them is every other Saturday and Sunday night and he has to take them to school on Monday.  His schedule a year ago was only Saturday night because he bitched about not being able to take them to school when he doesn't start at work until over an hour after I do.  I ended that.

The girls have met at least 30-40 women since we separated 2 years ago.  He can't keep a girlfriend past a date or two. He books multiple dates a day and makes women feel like shit (how do I know?  A few have reached out to me!).  He says I am "messing up" the girls because I live with someone I've been dating over a year and introducing the girls to multiple women in ONE WEEKEND is totally fine.

He's a narcissistic alcoholic. If I texted him today that it's shitty that he hasn't asked about the girls in over 10 days he'd respond "I work 60 hours a week, I'm busy, you're shitty for not texting me about how they are. You try to keep them from me."

No.  I work over 40 hours a week now and have the girls about 85% of the time. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT.

Everything is turned around on me.  He let the girls stay the night at someone's house (who has girls the same age) but didn't tell me.  I do not allow the girls to have slumber parties, period.  When I complained (because, hey, he has the girls 4 nights a MONTH) he called me a hypocrite because I live with "some guy".  Basically he can do whatever because I'm a hypocrite because I live with "some guy".

I know people who are friends with him on Facebook and they say people are always telling him that he's a great dad.  He pays for 1/2 of daycare for Annabel and 1/2 of childcare for Annika, 1/2 of the monthly dance school fee and 1/2 of the monthly cheer fee.  That's it.  He does not pay me any child support of any kind and if I file my paperwork from our divorce he'd be homeless with the amount the state says the girls deserve.

But I'm done.  He's not a good dad, he's only good in pictures.

Good dads provide for their children.
Good dads ask how their children are doing.
Good dads don't punish their children for telling him that their mom's boyfriend and kids are "like family".
Good dads participate in their kids lives anyway they can.
Good dads don't have their children meet women from dating sites every weekend.
Good dads don't text on their phones during their daughter's cheer practice when everyone else is watching.

But you know who does more for my girls?  My boyfriend.  After Annika's dentist appointment yesterday he texted to see how she did.  He texts when they don't feel good.  He doesn't text during the dance class he came to watch (their dad has never been).  He asks about their day and takes and interest in the things they like.

It's especially hard when the girls are over it too and don't even ask when they are going to his place.  We're all just over his behavior.  The girls say he never does what they want to do and all they ever get to do at his place is swim in the pool or watch TV.

What do when dad sucks?  What would you do?

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Yep, Horrible Busy Blogger

So no posts since December?


Life is going about a million miles an hour lately.

Just last weekend, for example, we had Friday night date night with just my girls at a local brewery.  The girls fell in love with the girl singing there, bought her CD, have listened to it every single time we've gotten in the car since.

Saturday morning was dance class, then playing outside, then we went to a local speedway to see school buses drive on a figure 8 course and run into each other (the girls actually picked this activity!).

Sunday was my boyfriend's son's birthday party, followed by a swim in the pool, dinner at a local diner, grocery shopping, more playing outside (Annabel now rides her bike without training wheels!) and bedtime.

That was last weekend.  Since December we've done so much that I'm trying to remember it all.

Adventure Island (water park) 3 times
Busch Gardens (rollercoasters/zoo park) 5 times
My aunt visited for a long weekend in March
At least 3 different concerts
Skate Park
Bike Rides
Ikea shopping trip

I'm sure there is a lot more.  There's also so much more planned, cruise in the summer, parade this weekend, cheer competitions, dance recitals, Pre-K graduations, someone is starting kindergarten (let us all cry now that the "baby" is starting school!!!), music festival....

Oh, how about that I'm now a coach for tumbling at a cheerleading school and that Annika has started All Star Cheer which costs like a billion dollars and that's why I'm now a coach to pay for it all.

So yeah, we're kind of busy up in here.