Thursday, March 24, 2016

Rules For Dating

I just got back from my first date.  We had a lot to talk about, it was a really nice time.  I only had 2 hours to go out because I didn't want to keep the girls at the babysitter's house for too long.

I'm going to go out with him again, I think.  I'm having a hard time with this one.  While he was very nice, sweet, funny the kiss was....blah.  Is that bad?  I've kissed other people and there's an instant connection.  Not so much here...maybe we need to try it again, and not in a parking lot by my car.  But it did disappoint me a bit.  It may be because the last 2 I dated were very aggressive and he was just kind of sweet and I'm not used to sweet, nice guys??

We actually have rules for dating, during our separation and now divorce we agreed to try not to "fuck up the kids".  It's really one of the most important things for me.  I don't want the girls seeing all different guys I'm dating and get confused.

Most rules are specific to me, but I did agree to them for our safety, people are crazy out there!

1. My first date I will meet the guy in a public place.
2. I do not tell them my last name unless I feel comfortable.
3. No guys at my apartment until a few dates in (this is so people don't know I live alone with the girls) and only if the girls are not home.
4. Neither one of us discloses personal information about each other or the girls, where we work, where we live, where the girls go to school, or any of the plans the other person may have (for example him telling a date I'm going to be a certain place at a certain time, I don't want a crazy woman looking for me!).
5. No one meets the girls until the relationship is exclusive, lasted at least 3 months, looks like it may be going somewhere and the other person has to be comfortable with it (meaning if he's dating someone that I know does something questionable he's going to have to convince me otherwise).

I also have some dating requirements for the guys I go out with.  I feel like this time I can be picky, I'm in no rush but I also don't want to waste my time with someone when it won't work out:

1. Must have their own place to live (no roommates), own car and job (seems basic but half the guys that have contacted me on Match didn't meet this one).
2. Must have children.  This one is important to me.  I need someone to understand what I'm going through, I also feel more comfortable with the girls possibly being around someone who knows how to deal with children.
3. No criminal record!
4. Funny, can hold a conversation, likes to go out and do things!
5. No alcoholics or even heavy drivers (I just can't watch it again).
6. Compatible zodiac sign.  I know this one is crazy but every time I've ever tried to be with someone and their sign was compatible with mine it just didn't work out (I'm divorcing someone with sign that was not compatible).  So yes, crazy, but in my head this is an important one :)

I can't think of anything else but so far those are the dating rules and dating requirements I have.

Are there any you think I should add?

1 comment:

  1. How do you know if they have a criminal record? What about divorced, widowed or never married with kids? Seems like they would bring their own baggage or issues. It would be hard for me to replace a mom that died young. Never married with kids seems like he's afraid to commit or lazy for not using protection LOL Oh, what about weird food diets, vegetarian, vegan, I can't think of the others but I'd find that hard. Religion? Any specific requirement?