Friday, September 23, 2016

What People Don't Tell You About Divorce

I guess I never really paid attention to what happens when people get divorced, you know, besides the whole "they don't live together thing".

Here are some things I've learned.

1. You split your friends and you don't get to chose who you keep.  I lost a lot, he lost a lot and both of us together lost a lot.  There are people who just don't speak to either one of us anymore.

2. You don't get invited to play dates.  Seriously.  It's sad for the girls but pretty much all of their friends have married parents and it doesn't seem like "the single mom" gets invited, or that's our case.

3. If you change your name back (which I did) people will ask you why.  Like, why because they haven't figured out on their own that you are now divorced.

4. People will ask you how your husband is doing MONTHS after separating or divorcing.  It's so awkward when you explain you don't have a husband anymore.

5. People will say stupid shit, see #4.  I've gotten "Oh you seemed so happy on Facebook", "Your kids don't seem like they come from a single parent home", or "When are you getting married again?"

6. People will start planning wedding #2 the second you start dating someone the opposite of your first husband.

7. Dating is weird.  Dating as an adult is weird.  Dating with kids is weird.

8. People were waiting for you to get divorced.  Just ask the 3 mutual Facebook friends that immediately asked me on a date.

9. People knew you were doomed from the start.  I'm making it a new rule that if I see a relationship that doesn't seem right I'M GOING TO BE THAT FRIEND THAT SPEAKS UP. I don't even care.  I'm saying "he's awful and we all hate him/her".  You know why?  Divorce is expensive, I paid over 4 times the amount I paid to get married to get divorced.

10. Your kids are kind of confused.  Annabel doesn't seem to remember us ever being married, we've only lived away from him for almost 10 months.  Annika says she likes not living together and getting alone time with both of us.  But then sometimes Annika asks for "family day" so we can all hang out together (we can't because we just don't get along, it's not a good environment for the girls).  I expect the girls to be confused for a while but we both explain things to them that we're happier living apart but we love the girls the same.  Annika seems to be fine with the entire adjustment.  Annabel usually misses whatever parent she isn't with.  It is tough with kids.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

When There's No Drama

Well I guess when there's no drama there's nothing much to write about.

I'm happy.  What else can I say?

I'm still dating Nice Guy, it'll be 6 months in 2 weeks.  I can't believe it's already been that long, time is just flying by!

The girls are doing pretty good considering that so many changes happened in the last year.  I finally have their dad taking them on the correct nights (he only has them every other weekend for Saturday and Sunday nights).  We do lots of fun things together and with Nice Guy and his two kids.

The girls are both doing great in school and love it.

Work is pretty good.

I haven't had any bouts of depression, although, I am aware that the anniversary of my parents dying is approaching and this is usually a hard time of year for me.

The girls and I have a trip to Atlanta planned next month, Nice Guy and I have a trip planned the following weekend, then there's Annika's birthday, Thanksgiving, Annabel will be in a Christmas parade, my holiday party for my work (and I have a date this year!), Annabel's birthday and then Christmas.  I just know this time of year will fly by.

So that's it.  I'm happy.  Life is good.

33 years old has been a great age so far.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Dating Update

4 months and counting.  Things are still perfect so perfect that I don't even have a ton to say.  I'm so thankful that met Nice Guy.  We're still doing lots of fun things together and with the kids.  The girls love him and think he's great.

Looking forward to more fun things and times together :-)

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

First Day of Pre-K

I need someone to explain to me how this baby started pre-K today.


Because in my head this is still how she looks to me sometimes.

My little sweet Annabel started pre-K today.


My little pumpkin that came into this world a full month early just so she could have a birthday the week of Christmas and ruin her chances of having a real party.  We are already joking with her that no one will come to the big party she's planning in December, so we're moving it a few weeks early.

But back to this pre-K thing.  It means only one more year till kindergarten, "big girl" school.  I can't even handle it.  She's such a sweet thing and her school loves her, her teacher is already upset about not having her next year.

This last week she's been in a bit of trouble though.  She's becoming her own little person and has decided she's not going to listen.  She's been bad at listening to me and her dad and now one of her teachers at school.  After a few mornings of not getting to play on her Kindle Fire in the car she's calmed down and is listening better.  I've never had a child get put in "time out" before and I never thought Annabel would be the first!

I can't wait to see what she learns this year but I know I'll be so sad at that pre-K graduation in May!

Friday, July 8, 2016

My Usual Random Updates

~I'm very sporadic with my posts.  My internet is awful here.  Sometimes I lose full blog posts and give up and sometimes I can't even get my computer to connect right.

~Still dating "Nice Guy".  He's wonderful.  We have done so many fun things in the last 3 months, probably more fun things that I did in 10 years of being with someone else...He even got to meet my best friend and he got her approval.

~Nice Guy's kids and the girls are getting along pretty well.  Annika and his son are two harder ones to deal with.  Annika can be a bit of a monster at times and it annoys his son who can also be a monster at times.  The two little girls (they're both 4) are pretty easy going and fine together.

~I'm really hoping to blog more, I say it all the time but I do enjoy it.

~One of the most upsetting things when dating someone new is them not getting to meet your parents.  I would have loved for my parents to meet Nice Guy.  He's interested in meeting some of my family but honestly there are not many people to meet...

~I did have dinner with my 2 aunts, my uncle and his wife a few weeks ago (it was an evening where Nice Guy couldn't make it).  My whole family told me how great it was that I'm divorced now and that they hated who I was married to.  Isn't that crazy?  So many people have told me that since we've been divorced but no one ever said anything before!

~I've now hung out with Nice Guy's parents and grandmother a few times.  They're a very nice family.  I'm so glad I met him.  So far he's just perfect.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Vacation Week From Hell

I took the week off since Annika's summer camp was closed this week.  We had a full agenda ready to go.

Tuesday: I was going to take Annabel to school and Annika and I were going to go to a water park up in Tampa for the day.

Wednesday: We were going to pick up the girls's babysitter and head to the beach.  The girls's dad was also going to be out there because his sister is here on vacation.

Thursday: Zoo day, we have an annual pass and have only used it once so far.

Friday: Pool day and recovery from our busy week.

What we actually did this week.

Tuesday: Dropped Annabel off at school and 2 minutes later they called us to say that she puked all over the place.  Picked her up, came back home, she puked some more. Took a 3 hour nap because why not? Later that night Annika decided to join in the fun and puked all over her bed.

Wednesday: Did 4 loads of laundry.  Annabel puked after I had her dressed for the beach.  Canceled the beach trip.  Their babysitter is actually sick too anyway.  Later in the day Annabel tells me her butt is "sweaty", she's actually pooped herself and it's liquid...1 more load of laundry.  We watch "Pitch Perfect" together because if I watch one more episode of "Monster High" or "Sofia the First" I will LOSE MY MIND.  Took another 3 hour nap.

Thursday: 1am, Annabel poops herself along with her pajamas, a towel I had under her, her sheets, the waterproof cover on her mattress, her blanket (which I washed the day before already) and her pillows.  I call her dad yelling that he better wake up, bring over Pedilyte, diapers (or pull ups), wipes and diaper rash cream.  I throw the poop laundry at him for him to do at his apartment (he has a washer and dryer, I have a "facility").  Go back to bed with Annabel in my room, she poops again, it goes through the pull up and onto another towel.  Wake up at 3am and do 2 more loads of laundry hoping to not get murdered in the middle of the night going to the laundry facility.  Poop calms down.  Since all of our plans have been canceled for the week now I take the girls to Walmart (because who cares if they puke in there, right?) and tell them they can each pick out a $15 toy.  I also buy "Pitch Perfect 2".  On the way home Annabel poops herself again.  Clean her up, take a 3 hour nap, poops again, load the girls up in the car to pay $70 to go to an Urgent Care Center where the guy tells me to give her Pepto Bismol which I didn't originally give her because it said not to give to kids under 12.  If I had known I could have given her it I would have done it 2 days ago!

Now the girls are in bed.  Annika has been fine for the past 2 days.  My fingers are crossed that Annabel is good enough for school tomorrow so that Annika and I can do the water park (we can't take her because she's not tall enough for almost any of the slides).  If she's not okay enough we might try to go to the movies and keep Annabel in her pull up to prevent any major accidents.  I need to get out of this apartment!!!  The good news is that my sick is super clear from not wearing any makeup for 3 days, my hair seems super healthy from not styling it or doing anything with it for 3 days and my apartment is SUPER clean!

I'm totally ready to go back to work.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Updates Updates Updates

*For the first time in 6 months we have Internet again!  Which means more blogging!

*I'm still dating Nice Guy and he's completely perfect.  It's been 2 months now.  Our kids all get along for the most part (just silly little fights over sharing or driving each other crazy) and I've now met his parents, grandmother, sister, niece and nephew.

*We've also exchanged the "l-word".  I felt like it was the most genuine time someone has said it to me and I hope I remember forward how he told me "I've fallen in love with you".  I never would have thought that I'd meet such an amazing person on a dating website who also happens to live less than 1/2 a mile from my apartment!

*Annika finished kindergarten!  Her last day was yesterday!  She's wearing her "crazy cat lady" dress :)


*Annika's graduation was last Friday and she requested that I buy her a "fancy pink dress".  I nailed it.  She was adorable.


*The girls had their dance recital last Sunday.  This was Annika's 4th recital (she's a pro now at only 6 years old!) and Annabel's first ever recital.  Annika had a tap and ballet dance and did perfect in both.  Annabel was a doll too!  She did soooo good that I cried!  My baby!


*Tuesday Annika had her end of the year field trip to the YMCA water park.  I got to go and we had fun but poor Annabel cried because she didn't get to go.  I ended up picking Annabel up early from school that day to surprise her and take her to a water fountain playground before we picked up Annika from school.



*Tomorrow we're going with Nice Guy and all 4 kids to the zoo!  Should be fun!