Monday, May 2, 2016

Tattoos!!

Saturday I had a "best friend weekend" with my best friend in Orlando!  We've now been friends for 17 years.  We met back when I was 16 and dating her brother.  We dated for 6 years so I was pretty much part of the family and we've stayed friends this whole time.

We have a mutual love of Harry Potter.  I love it while she is a bit obsessed!  We used to go to Walmart at midnight the day the books went on sale and would buy them and go home and read the entire book in a day together!

We've also been discussing for about 10 years about getting a "best friend" tattoo.  We didn't want a dumb symbol or anything like that so we decided that for the weekend we would finally settle on a design and make an appointment.


And here they are!!  We've both been wanting a tattoo on our wrists and we decided to go with a Harry Potter theme.  The quote comes from here:

http://everythingharrypotter.tumblr.com/post/202807904/youll-stay-with-me-until-the-very-end-said

But let me tell you, the wrist is PAINFUL!  I have 2 dragonflies on my shoulder blade that I really didn't think hurt at all but this was bad!  It only lasted 2 minutes but I have a really thick tendon in the middle of my wrist were the "he" from the and the "v" from very are right on.  I wanted to scream!

We both couldn't stop looking at the tattoos all weekend because we're both so pleased with them!

Next tattoo for me will probably be one to honor either my mom or dad.  I have an idea for each of them but I just need to save up the money and get it done!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Nice Guy

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down at my computer this weekend!  I keep having issues connecting my laptop to my new iPhone but now I think I've got it figured out.

So, I'm still dating Nice Guy and he's the only person I'm dating.  We've actually already had the "exclusive" conversation and both agreed that dating new strangers sucks and we like each other and want to see where it can go.

Three weeks ago we went on an amazing date.  It started off with him bringing me flowers.  I have never had a guy give me flowers before or after a date.  Then we went to a really nice restaurant out on the beach.  After that we were going to try to watch the sunset but it was cloudy so we decided to go back to his place to watch a movie.

The really nice thing about Nice Guy is that we never seem to run out of things to talk about.  We have a lot of similarities, we both have kids (he has a son and daughter), we both like Harry Potter and action movies and we both like to go out and do fun stuff but also like to just sit at home and play board games and relax.

After watching the movie we had a talk about how neither one of us wanted to have sex yet.  He started the conversation and I immediately felt 100% more relaxed because I was planning on saying the same thing!  We want to get to know each other first, because it really is weird meeting someone on a dating website, we're strangers!

He asked me to stay the night but I felt weird because I had no pajamas or toothbrush and I desperately wanted to wash the makeup off my face!  We drove back over to my place (he actually lives directly across the street from my neighborhood so it's a 2 minute drive!) and he stayed the night.  We slept horribly!  Neither one of us have slept in the same bed as anyone besides our kids in a long time.  Luckily we both laughed about it.

Since that date he has met the girls and I've met his kids.  We explained to the kids that we're just friends, of course, we're interested in more than that but it was important to both of us that the kids like each other and us.  We don't want to confuse the kids right now (both our ex-spouses are in relationships that are children are confused by) but we really enjoy having fun together.  So far we've all been to the beach to see the sunset, to a little festival on a small local farm and we took the girls to their first movie, The Jungle Book on Friday!  His kids have been to the movies a lot but Annika and Annabel have never been and they LOVED it.  I can see us going a lot now.


This coming weekend for Mother's Day he asked me what our plans were.  I told him Mother's Day is not at all a good day for me.  I had planned on taking the girls out to the beach for the day and that's it.  He asked if he could come with us (his kids will be with their mom) and afterwards he wants to take us to lunch because I'm a great mother and I deserve to have someone take me out.  I wanted to cry!  I haven't been out for Mother's Day since my very first one, which was the last one my mom was alive for.

So far this guy is perfect.  No red flags, no issues.  Can't wait to see were it goes :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Quick Dating Update!

I have to post from my phone, which is totally hard!!

So I'm currently dating the Nice Guy!! What a way to throw everyone off from my last post!

Known and I talked, he feels he's too old for me, blah, blah, blah.

Dover blew us off for dinner the night our girls were supposed to meet. The girls were so upset so that was a red flag and a deal breaker for me.

Nice Guy and I finally had our schedules work out and went on an amazing and perfect date last weekend. PERFECT! Seriously, he's the nicest guy I've ever met.

Once I get my computer working I'll post more :$

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

This Weeks Dating Dilemma

To keep up with names and backgrounds click here:

http://raisinglittlered.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-dating-scene.html

Known texted me Monday night, "I'm across the street from your place now working."  Umm...okay (he repairs things at restaurants so he was in the plaza across from my neighborhood).  Then he says he'd like to see me Wednesday, which is today...He has been to my place a few times and I'm comfortable with him being here while the girls are only because he was a really good friend for years.  He's actually babysat the girls for me when I had a work event, twice.

Again, Known hasn't tried to reach out and make plans with me in about 2 weeks.  At the time our schedules didn't coordinate so I canceled on him.  Before that it was about 3 weeks.  So at this point I would say I haven't actually seen him, besides when his daughter babysat for me 2 weeks ago, in 6 weeks for anything "date" related.

I don't know what's going on with him, but today he has to tell me what he wants.

It has to be tonight because Diver and I also talked Monday.  He's invited me and the girls over for dinner. I told him immediately that I do really like him but my #1 focus in life right now is "don't fuck up my children".  His daughter will be there so we're setting it up as a play date, there will be no affection in front of the girls, we are friends, that is all.  I don't want to confuse them until we discuss it and we're not at that point yet.

I was hesitant to have the girls meet him this soon but I do really like him a lot.

Then one of my best friends sent me this article:

http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/167200/why_its_better_to_introduce

Why would I invest the time with this guy only to find out the girls are uncomfortable around him?  What if they don't get along with his daughter? (She's darling so I doubt that would be the case!)  What if he doesn't like them?  What if I don't like how he acts around them?

So I know A LOT of people will not support my decision but it's mine and it's what I'm doing.

BUT, if Known wants what I want, a relationship, a partnership, something we can build together, I would cancel dinner with Diver.  I can't lead him on like that. I just honestly don't think Known knows what he wants (also we have a 14 year age difference that he seems to worry a little about while I'm fine with it).  He's also never stated how he feels about the possibility of technically having to help me raise my girls right at the point where his kids are moving out!  I'm not sure he'd want to start all over again with my two.

With Known the girls are very comfortable with him.  They really like him, he's fun, they get along, they think he's funny and we LOVE his kids.  His daughter is my only babysitter and his son is great too.  I actually go out to lunch and go to the mall with his daughter alone sometimes.  When we bought our house we had 2 years ago the kids actually helped us move.

Clearly the biggest hurdle with Known is the lack of contact and I don't know what he's looking for.

All opinions are welcome.  Would you introduce your children to a "friend" after a few weeks of dating?  Would you date someone more than 10 years older or younger than you?  What would you say to Known?

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Birthday Parties

I always hear parents complain about having to take their kids to a ton of birthday parties.  Since this is really the first year the girls are both in school I kind of expected we'd be going to a lot.  So far we've been lucky and have only attending one.

One of the boys in Annika's class invited the entire class, plus siblings, to a party at a trampoline jumping place.  It was fun, his parents rented the entire place!  There were at least 50 kids there and the girls had a ball.  Annika thought it was great that she was getting to see all her friends from school on a Sunday, outside of school!

Annika was invited to two other parties, one the same day as her birthday, so we declined.  The other one was last Sunday and the mom gave us the invitation on Saturday!  So we already had plans and couldn't attend.

Now for the next two weekend we have two parties!  Saturday Annabel's friend is having a party at a bowling alley, this is the first party that Annabel has been invited to on her own.  She was so excited to go without Annika and then the little girl's mom texted me and asked if Annika wanted to come too.

Annabel got to pick out the gift for the little girl on her own.  They're in ballet together so they really don't talk a lot in class, but Annabel insists that she loves Sofia the First just like her so we got her the doll.

The next weekend Annika is invited to a party at a bounce house place, it's a big store front  in a plaza with 10 really large bounce houses inside.  The party is for a little girl in Annika's class at school and Annabel, so far, is not invited to that one.

I always find it funny when I ask the girls what to get their friends and they pick out something they like themselves.  I told Annika to talk to her friend and ask her what she likes so we have some ideas!  I can't imagine that all 6 year old girls like exactly the same thing.

The only complaint I have is these presents!  I tried to put a $10 limit on each gift but Annabel spent about $18 when we were done with the Sofia doll, bag and tissue paper.  But I guess in the end it is worth it since the girls are getting to go do fun things with their friends!

How do you all handle buying gifts for birthday gifts?  Do you have a spending limit?  What is the best party your child has been invited to so far?

Monday, April 4, 2016

The Dating Scene

Ugghh, you guys dating is kind of crazy.

So I went on the date like a week and a half ago, guy was nice, I ended up going to his house to hang out that Saturday, went to church with him that Sunday. I met his daughter, which was kind of weird, I just hope he doesn't let everyone he meets meet his daughter, lets call him Diver (because that's kind of his job.

Diver is what I kind of like in men.  He's sweet, affectionate, smiles a lot, makes me laugh.  He's HUGE, like he weight lifts a lot and his arms are like the size of my waist, but he looks big and tough and he's super sweet.  My biggest issue is the whole talking on the phone thing that I hate and his public support for a presidential candidate who I happen to this is a moron.  His schedule is also very busy and I have no interest in diving and I think he'll try to get me interested.  I HATE open water especially going under it! Other than that he's nice.

There's another guy that I kind of started dating in right after the girls and I moved out, lets call him Known (he's actually the ex-husband of a friend, a friend who hasn't spoken to me since she found out we were getting divorced).  Known likes to take me on dates, ignore me for 3 weeks, text me again, takes me on a date, ignore me for 3 weeks, repeat and repeat.  I actually made plans to see him Wednesday, but I never know if he'll show up or not.

Then yesterday, after both Diver and Known ditched our plans I went out with Nice Guy.  He wrote to me on Match weeks ago with a generic "hey, how are you?" to which I ignored.  Then he wrote me another message Saturday that started with "I'm so sorry for the generic message, let me try again".  Hooked.  We went out for ice cream and ended up talking for 3 hours.  He has two kids, actually lives right across the street from me, gave me a hug good bye, and texted me about an hour later about how he'd like to see me again.  I have no complaints about this guy, I always have complaints.  He's kind of shy, said that meeting people on Match is totally awkward (agree!), and was a gentleman, the other two pretty much try to make out with me in public and this guy didn't even try!  He also seems like a great dad, he wouldn't even try to get me to make plans with him on weekends he has his kids, he focuses on them those weekends which is nice to hear.

So I'm keeping my options open (don't worry, not sleeping with all these guys and the girls are not meeting any of them!).  Ideally it would be nice to take all the good qualities from all of them and just make one man, but we'll see how it all works out!

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Talking on the Phone

My cell phone is not for talking.  Two weeks ago when it rang I couldn't even figure out how to answer it. I know how to reject calls, I know how to watch my phone ring and ring and then go to voicemail, but answer it?  Nope.

I text a lot.  I use Facebook and Facebook messenger.  I do not talk on my phone.

So this new guy I'm dating.  He's a phone talker and all my friends are thrilled.

"Finally someone to make you talk!"

Shut up.

I have major phone anxiety. I even get it if I have to make a phone call for an appointment.  I hate when people at work call me.  Just please email me!!

But over the last two weeks I've talked on my phone for 400 minutes, I checked my bill because I don't think I talked for 400 minutes in the last 2 years combined.

And today when we talked I felt good.  It's nice to talk to someone and have a conversation after a long day at work.  I miss that, honestly I never had that.  My friends say it's one of the many reasons why I've ended up divorced, communication is so important.  So instead of getting anxiety I'm opening up to the idea of actual phone conversations.

So again, I don't know where this is headed, but I hope it lasts a little while.