You guys. I have a date, with a stranger, tomorrow.
We've been separated since last May and about a week after the separation he (I will no longer be using his name to protect his privacy) started dating.
While we still husband and wife legally I know we both were done last year. Over it. We weren't compatible in many ways and rarely saw each other because of his work schedule. Moving on for him was difficult and dating was the way for him to get over me (so he said). He's gone on 100s of dates and is very open about it. I like to remind very private with things like that, especially for the girls.
I did date someone too, briefly, actually there were 2. I did really like both but in the end it wasn't going to work with either. What I appreciated from both was the honesty in both relationships with each other. If something is wrong we told each other. If I didn't like what going on or something they did I told them. We never did that with our marriage. I would get angry, he would ignore what I said or say I was wrong and tell me to forget about it.
Now I know that dating while still married was probably wrong but just those 2 guys opened my eyes up to how relationships should be. How you can be happy with someone and how you can communicate with someone. Even though I'm not with either I think both were good experiences.
But I knew both of those guys previously. This guy is from Match. Scary!
Let me tell you Match can be a bit crazy. I put some pictures on my profile, created a horrible bullshit paragraph about myself and within minutes I had guys interested. I seem to appeal to the over 55 year old crowd which I am not into (even though the two guys I dated were 9 years and 13 years older than me). I've had some really creepy guys contact me. I've blocked a few.
So this guy I'm going on a date with seemed pretty normal and doesn't seem like he just wants a hook up. Our date works too to prevent anything "funny" because my babysitter is watching them during a 2 hour window. I've texted and talked on the phone with him and so far seems pretty normal but I will have my guard way up.
I'm looking forward to incorporating a little of my dating experiences on this blog now, it's a whole new life! I haven't dated in 10 years and so much has changed!
Did you and the ex talk about introducing the girls to new relationships, what is and what is not appropriate? I have a friend that has a little girl, my friend is always dating and has new men in and out of her daughters life which is very confusing. She is beginning to be a little too comfortable around strange men! It will be interesting to see how she fairs in the dating dept when she grows up. It just seems like shes being taught instability is OK.
ReplyDeleteHope the date goes well...so scary dating a complete stranger with kids. When we were younger it was our lives at stake, now you have to worry about those littles. Hopefully, you can find someone to provide you a healthy stable relationship where you can talk about your feelings, wants and needs.
Yes we have talked about, I'll write up a post for it! Thanks for the idea :)
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