Monday, August 12, 2013

Parenting Rant


First of all the names have been changed.

Secondly I would like to say that we are not perfect parents and I'm sure people sit back and wonder what the hell we're doing and that's fine.  Everyone can have an opinion and I'd like to give mine on a situation we saw this weekend.

Annika has a little friend that lives across the pond from us.  She is 4 months younger than Annika, lets call her Sara.  Sara has a brother that is 1 year older than Annabel, lets call him Max.  So Sara is almost 3 1/2 and Max is 2 1/2.

We had dinner at their house yesterday.  We never met their mother because she works long hours and their father stays at home with them.  From the brief encounters I've had with the father I've learned the following:

He doesn't watch them well.  We've seen both kids almost fall into the pond and Max used to play a house that was being built while the father was on his porch at least 100 feet away.

The kids drive a motorized car around and typically are 100s of feet away from the dad and I've seen them cross the road alone.

Max gets away with everything.  There was an animal show at our clubhouse, Sara sat by herself to watch it while their father chased Max around because "he doesn't like animals, he wants to run".

Max is completely non-verbal.  No words AT ALL.  So while we're worried about Annabel's 6 words at 19 months this child is 1 year old and doesn't even say "dad".  Sara says a small handful of words and Annika gets frustrated because she doesn't talk much back to her but they do enjoy playing together.

So dinner last night, I brought cookies for dessert.  The dinner planned was spaghetti with sauce, garlic bread, salad and they had some fruit and a cake.  Sara told her mother she wanted cake before we ate.  So she gave her a slice of cake and says "Sara wants cake for dinner, hahahaha".  I didn't even know what to say!  Annika asked if she could have a piece and I told her she'd have to eat all her dinner first and Sara's mother says "Oh, she can have cake, I always give Sara whatever she wants to eat".  Really?  So my response "We eat dinner first and then if she finishes she can have cake."

Max sits in a high chair still and does not know how to feed himself so when I sat Annabel down at their little table with her own fork and plate they asked if I was going to help her.  I told them she feeds herself and they both looked shocked.  I swear they both stared at her the entire time and when she was done I told Annabel to put her plate on the counter and Sara's mom said "oh you make her take her own plate up??"  So I said "yes, she always either hands me her plate or takes it up herself".

Also Max ate cake for dinner too because that's what he wanted.  Not sure how he told his mother he wanted cake but she sat there and fed it to him as she ate her food.

I know a lot of people do this but I get so annoyed when people leave the TV on while they're eating dinner, especially with guests.  It was on some sort of Disney channel the whole time and I kept having to tell Annika to eat her food and stop watching TV.

The father also told us "the kids go to bed at midnight every night, they refuse to go to bed any earlier than that but it's good because they sleep till 9am".  I wasn't going to say anything but Josh told him that Annabel sleeps that late too but I always have her bed before 9pm.  I'm sorry but kids that age cannot determine on their own what time they go to bed!!

Am I crazy or are these people terrified of making their kids do anything on their own or telling them what to do????  And I feel like their pediatrician must not be doing his or her job either in telling them that at least Max should be speaking more!  Josh has talked their father about it before and he did say the doctor mentioned maybe doing some testing but that it wasn't a big deal.

I'm scared to meet any other parents and I'm scared for this generation if people continue to not discipline their kids, set rules for them to follow, learn to say no and try to be best friends with their children.  It's really scary how these kids are going to be when they become adults in my opinion.


  1. It is so sad how little parenting is actually taking place these days. This is one reason I don't want to send my kids to public school, because I don't want my kids exposed to this! Penny had her first mom and me class today and before the class even started, this little girl just came up to her and started hitting her. Her mom was totally oblivious and never even acknowledged it. Same girl was running around during the class pulling out props and just flat out not listening! Her mom was looking at her with this "oh she's so cute" look on her face. I was like what?!?!

  2. Oh my! I think parents feel it's more work to try and get their kids to behave so they just let them do whatever. The problem being is that when they get older their behavior will also get worse. It's so much easier to teach children proper behavior and good manners as they grow. I think this has a lot to do with the sense of entitlement I see more and more these days. I agree with everything you said above. :)

  3. Wow. Just wow! I work in retail, so I've seen a lot of this & it drives me crazy. My sis is already teaching my niece "no" & (this one is really essential) "stop whining". She minds pretty well & is a good baby, but there's no point in letting her start some of that.
    As for Annabel not talking much, I've heard of kids not saying words, then out of nowhere verbalizing entire sentences.

  4. My mouth is hanging open. I think they are not parenting *at all*. People have come to believe that discipline = punishment = bad parent. This is not true. Discipline and punishment are two completely different things (which you know), and of course disciplining one's children is being a GOOD parent. Perhaps these people simply do not have good role models. Perhaps they have no role models at all. Perhaps their pediatrician is incompetent as well. Sheesh. Perhaps seeing you raise your wonderful girls will help them. I sure hope so. Those poor children.