Thursday, May 23, 2013

Going To Work

Annika has never seen me leave for work.  When she was in daycare I dropped her off once before work (Josh went in later than me so he always took her) and she threw a fit.  She had never cried when Josh dropped her off.  She's totally a momma's girl.  I'll take it now because I know once she turns 13 she'll hate me!

Today she woke up at 6am.  She came into the bathroom while I was getting ready and said she wanted to sleep with me and cuddle.  I told her I had to go to work.  She closed the bathroom door and I could hear her in her closet (her bedroom is on the other side of our bathroom wall).

Then she came into the bathroom and said "I got to work with you, please?"

And then my heart broke.  Look at that face!  Then she burst into tears.

Poor sweet girl.  I told her she couldn't come with me and I set her up in the living room with a movie, cereal and her milk.  Josh only had 2 hours of sleep so far so I told her stay in the living room for as long as possible.  I guess she ended up waking him up around 7:15 for more food!

I called later in the day to check on her.  In the background I heard her saying "I need to talk to momma".  The second we started talking she burst into tears.

It was a rough day.  I rarely have a day where I feel like I'm making the wrong decision being a working mom but for about 4 hours this morning I was feeling it.  

Then I had my yearly review.  It was just what I needed to show me that providing for our family is what I need to keep doing.  I got a great raise, great review and I'm now making more than my old "I won't be able to believe it if I make this much per hour" pay. 

Instead of doing my usual Insanity workout while the girls play we made chocolate chip cookies together and went for a walk.  I'm looking forward to our 3 day weekend (including Annika's first ballet recital Saturday!!) and getting to cuddle with Annika in the mornings :-)


  1. I bet that was so awful for you! Even though I'm home with my girls, they sometimes (well, Elena always does) cry when I have to go somewhere, too. It's still hard. You are doing the right thing for your family. Have confidence in that. No matter what choice we make as a mother, we are always second-guessing ourselves. Working outside the home or being a stay at home or work at home mom...each choice comes with difficulties and rewards. Your girls are happy and all kids have bad days and sad days. You are a good mom!

  2. I understand completely how you feel. Its very rare that Mason gets to see me leave for work. But when he does, oh the heartache because he doesn't want me to go.