Wednesday, June 20, 2012

How to Behave in a Cubical

I'm moving some of my posts from my old blog over here, this one is from May 3rd, 2010:

A few of our temps (and a few regular employees) at work seem to not know how to behave in an environment where you sit in a cubical. Unfortunately these people have been moved into the row next to mine! I would love to send this list out to them:

1. Do not sing especially if you sign off key. If you sing all can hear and it's annoying and I will tell on you as I did today (was a bit of a tattler because I was going insane).

2. Keep your radio volume on medium to low even if you have ear buds in because your cube neighbor can hear it. I personally don't like knowing that you're listening to Miley Cyrus especially when you're sitting 3 cubes over.

3. Watch out with eating smelly foods in your cube. There's nothing worse than smelling tuna all day long.

4. Speaking of tuna...practice good hygiene. Gosh, I really don't want to know when you're on your period, I can already tell from your attitude!

5. Watch your voice volume when speaking on your cell phone. I now know that someone named Julie is living a questionable lifestyle, someone you use to know almost got abducted (but she would have deserved it) and that Jim hasn't been playing golf lately.

6. Also turn off your ringer on your cell phone. If I hear that old fashion telephone ring again I'm going to come over and stomp on your phone!!!!

7. If you would like to have a conversation with your cube neighbor please get your lazy ass off your chair and walk over to them. Have a good old fashion conversation face to face and don't scream over 3 cubical walls to talk to them especially about politics. If I hear you Obama-loving-fools fighting with the one guy in the row that is a Republican I'm going to scream!

8. Speaking of Mr. Republican, you do not know everything so anytime anyone has a conversation within an ear shot of you we don't need to hear your 2 cents. Yes, yes, we know you are better than us all because you are going to medical school. Blah. Sometimes you should just sit quietly in your cube.

9. If you smoke air yourself out a bit. At least 4 of you smoke and when you all come back to your desks after taking smoke breaks together it smells like I'm at da club.

10. And to the Amazon lady that is about 6 feet tall, I small word of advice not related to the cubical, if you wear very high heels and short skirts at your height you force us vertically challenged people to feel even shorter and have the ability to tell what color panties you have on just by looking up. Just be careful you off key singer...

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