Friday, December 16, 2011

Hands on Daddy

I see so many posts on message boards, Facebook and even blog posts about dads that don't do certain things with their children.

One I saw on Facebook recently said that their husband recently gave their 15 month old daughter a bath for the first time ever, what???? What the hell has he been doing the past 15 months that he hasn't ever participated in a bath before? She said he offered to give her one so that she could relax. So the past 15 months you've been waiting around for him to "offer" to bathe the child you made together?? I don't get it!

I know a few people that have boyfriends or husband who have never, ever changed a diaper.

Other people who have significant others that don't know how to mix formula or who never sit down to give their children a bottle or feed them.

First of all, where do these guys get off not doing this stuff?? Secondly who are these women who are allowing it????

I guess I'm lucky that Josh has always wanted to participate and do everything that I do. Sure, there were times were I'd say I was going to give Annika a bath and he said he'd rather relax on the couch instead. But there were times were I'd say I was tired and wanted to relax and he'd go in and give her a bath for me instead.

Josh changed Annika's first diaper in the hospital and gave her a bath. When he went back with the nurses to the nursery and told them he wanted to do everything they said they rarely even get fathers that come into the nursery at all. Who wouldn't want to give their child their first bath especially if the mother isn't able to (since I had a c-section I didn't get to do it)??

I did have to teach Josh how to make formula when Annika was a few months old just because I had a method to it and always pre-prepared it for the day every evening but it wasn't rocket science.

When Annika has dirty diapers and we're home together we take turns changing her (or we yell "not it" and make the other person do it!) and when it's time to fix her a snack or a meal both of us are capable of doing it. It's never one person doing it more than the other.

Josh knows where Annika's clothes are in the closet and can pick out her outfits. He also knows where extra diapers/wipes/diaper cream/etc are kept in case I'm not home and he needs them. If he can't find them he texts me while I'm at work.

When we're out in public Josh has taken Annika to change her diaper (which made us notice that not very many men's restrooms have changing tables) or we use a family restroom so that we can get the job done faster with both of us in there!

A lot of times while we're grocery shopping Josh occupies Annika and pushes the cart while I shop and throw things in the cart. I've seen so many mother's either by themselves with their children (which I have done too when our work schedules didn't allow us to go together) or pushing, shopping and doing everything while the husband just kind of stands around.

And the cutest thing, Josh likes watching "Olivia" with Annika and children's movies with her. They are just the cutest when they're sitting together on the couch with their snacks watching "Olivia" together :-)

So after seeing so many posts, hearing people's stories and seeing people in real life I guess I'm really lucky to have such a hands on husband and for our girls to have such a hands on daddy!


  1. You are lucky. Just like you said, there are a lot of dads who just aren't as actively involved as your hubs is.

    In my case, I pretty much wanted to do it all, but when I asked, he would take over. Usually he needed a lot of direction, but I guess that was to be expected. ;)

  2. Ever since I had my first, who is 11 now, I work weekends and am home all week. You wouldn't believe how many people would ask me how my husband feels about "babysitting" the kids and not getting to have a weekend off. Are you freaking kiding me?!
    I totally agree with you. Why women allow the men to get away with it is beyond me. And no, my hubby never thought of it as "babysitting", he actually enjoys his time with the kids alone.
    I don't watch reality tv, but one time came across some random show and caught a few minutes. The kids were 5 and 3, and the mom was fretting about taking a half day at the spa because the husband hadd never been alone with the kids or more than an hour or so. To me, that is nuts.

  3. Um...there is no way in hell my husband isn't going to help with feedings, baths, diapers, etc. Although I'm lucky because he WANTS to help. Obviously most of it will fall to me because I'll be a SAHM. But if daddy's home, daddy's helping out!

  4. josh is the best dad. you lucked out, girl!

  5. My husband was great about feeding, clothing, and diapering, but not so much bathing. Karina has really tangly hair, and getting them out takes finesse that he doesn't have. So if he does bathe her, it's only the basics and he doesn't mess with the tangles. So I usually do it. Other than that, he's pretty good.

  6. I agree with you, WTH! I got lucky I guess, John wants to help as much as he can! He always does baths, if he is home.