Thursday, December 8, 2011

Being Crude

I recently picked up a special issue of Glamour magazine. It happened to have the Kardashian sisters on it. Either you're a person that loves them or you hate them, I'm sort of in the middle. I will say that Josh likes them and their shows. He'll deny it but he wanted to watch Kim's wedding, seriously, he did. Usually he has a fit when I buy girly magazines too but I noticed he didn't seem to care at all when I put this one in our cart.

One article in it (I'm mad that it's not in it's entirety on their website) is about women being crude. Well, it's really celebrities being crude but whatever.

It's funny because Josh read the article (while looking for the Kardashian article), looked at me and said how funny it is that I've been talking crude for the past 6 years and now it's like some sort of new "fad". I have to say that I don't typically talk crudely to strangers, mostly Josh and my friends. I have been known to speak about penis, vagina or poop in public places within hearing range of total strangers though which I probably need to control.

My co-worker and I recently ate pizza at a local place down the street from work and talked about our dislike for giving blow jobs the entire 30 minutes not even thinking twice about the guys sitting two tables away that were probably listening to every single word. I think she brings out the crudeness in me the most, she's really bad too with things that she says.

My best friend and I have been in a restaurant with Josh before and she's announced that she had to shit and then come back to the table to report what it looked like. Again, another friend that really brings out the crude!

And don't think that it's just women, Josh the other day was drinking a Starbucks frappuccino (which we have nicknamed a "crappuccino") and while walking through Target announced to me and Annika that he thought he could only handle about 3 more sips before he'd have to "blow up the restroom with his poops". An older woman walked past us when he said it and I'm pretty sure he almost gave her a heart attack.

I am probably the most guilty though with my mouth. I'm not sure where it has come from. Pregnancy makes it 100 times worse. Also while in Target (we live there part time, at least I'm pretty sure the store employees think so) I told Josh that my vagina hurt. I've also told my co-worker I'm friends with on our daily walk around downtown to "slow down because my fucking vagina is killing me". I attribute it all to the fact that Annabel has to be head down (Annika never was so this vagina pain is new) and that my hormones have removed the filter from my mouth.

So in honor of being crude tell me something crude that you've said recently! Come on, I'm sure everyone has said something!


  1. Oh, have I ever! I have a friend who brings out the crude in me, too! She has total potty mouth, so bad that her husband, who is an actual Navy Sailor, thinks she should tone it down!! I guess it's pretty bad when a sailor thinks his wife is too crude!

    I lose my filter during pregnancy, too. I'll talk about anything to anyone at anytime. Often I will stop and ask if I am saying too much because I simply can't tell!

  2. Totally didnt know you changed blogs! Should I delete your old one?

  3. yes, I am very open about poops, farts, wieners, vaginas and whatever else that is suppose to be private. I tell people shortly after I meet them that I speak this way and we can't be friends if they can't handle it. LOL I literally sent the following text to my best friend back home

    'HOLY CRAP! seriously, there was an don't wanna know how much weight I just lost in poop and I am pretty sure we will have to repaint the bathroom..."

    my brother is the same way...he will text me saying "I'm making CACA right now..."

    My son yells to me from the bathroom "oh Mom, I have stinky poops!!"